It's only June 27, but today I realized that the beginning of the school year is right around the corner.
And I have to say,...
I hate that.
Because it just means so many things.
Our eldest will enter her sophomore year of college with a focus on a new major and a job on campus that she is extremely excited about because it will benefit her future career.
Our middle daughter will be in her final year of high school, a senior, making final decisions on where she would like to go to school and what her studies will be. Right now, she's thinking neuroscience, but as we all know...that could change. A senior in high school...
And the baby, our dear, sweet baby boy. No, he's not actually a baby. He's all of 14 years old and will be a freshman at the high school his older sister attends, but
This thought process all started at 5:23 this morning when I dropped him off for cross country practice at the high school.
As I pulled away and looked into the rear view mirror, I could see him walking towards the track.
A stranger in a completely new atmosphere.
The sting of tears filled my eyes and my throat became tight.
No longer "on top of it all", he is now the low man on the totem pole.
I had the same feeling with the girls, but this time...
This one is different
He's it. The last. The baby.
In four years, Mr. 365 and I will be alone (or should be) to enjoy each other's company without scheduling conflicts, homework assignments or sports activities.
Then what?
I'm not ready.
I'm finding it so difficult to imagine that one day they all won't be a part of our everyday life.
That they won't need to talk to me or at least need something from mom.
But that's what we raise them for: to go out and be on their own, to be responsible, independent, and wise adults who don't need to call mom for the slightest little thing.
But mommy isn't ready...
I thought it was extremely difficult when they were little, fighting and going in fifty different directions, but I'm finding this is harder. MUCH harder.
As these next four years go by, I'll see my boy turn into a young man, my daughters transform into independent women and gradually, very gradually, I'll be ready.
Or at least, I hope to be.
I know I said yesterday I'd be making cookies or cupcakes today, but my daughter found this Cinn-a-bun Cheesecake on Perry's Plate and begged me to make it. Thank you, Natalie for this wonderful recipe!
Cinn-a-bun Cheesecake
Crust
1½ cups finely crushed iced oatmeal cookies or any spice cookie
¼ cup butter, melted
2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
Filling
3 8-ounce packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
½ cup sour cream
4 eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
¼ cup all-purpose flour
1 cup finely crushed cookies (same as above)
¼ cup caramel sundae topping
1 teaspoon cinnamon mixed with ¼ cup sugar
Preheat oven to 325ºF and place a pan of water on the bottom rack.
Crust:
Mix together cookie crumbs, melted butter and brown sugar in a small bowl.
Press the mixture into the bottom of an 8-inch spring form pan.
Then spray the sides of the pan with cooking spray.
Set aside.
Filling:
In a large mixing bowl fitted with a whisk attachment, combine cream cheese, sugar and sour cream and beat on medium speed until smooth approximately 4-5 minutes, scraping down the sides and also bottom of the bowl at least twice during the process.
Add the eggs, vanilla and flour and beat on medium speed until thoroughly combined, about 3 minutes.
Assembly:
Spoon 1/3 of the filling into the pan and sprinkle 1/3 of the cookie crumbs. Drizzle with caramel sauce and sprinkle 1/3 of the cinnamon/sugar mixture on top.
Repeat by adding another 1/3 of the filling, 1/3 of the cookie crumbs, caramel sauce, and cinnamon/sugar.
Pour final layer of filling, following with remaining ingredients.
Bake for 50-55 minutes or until cheesecake pulls away from the sides about 2 inches and is slightly wiggly in the middle.
Turn the oven off, leaving the door slightly open and allow the cheesecake to cool enough so that it can be removed from the oven with the use of oven mitts.
Allow to cool to room temperature and the refrigerate overnight.
The preliminary tasting event of my first ever cheesecake revealed that this gem should earn 3½ rolling pins!
Everything I bake is rated on a scale of 1-4 with 4 being the absolute "you haven't lived until you've made this dish!"
The family was too anxious to wait until morning to try it.
Yes, it was still a little warm, but still really yummy anyway.
I don't even like cheesecake. And I ate it. And it was warm.
And I LIKED it!
Not bad for my first cheesecake attempt, I think.
The top did crack though, but that certainly didn't affect the taste! It may not be as pretty as those from that factory restaurant with the same name, but it works!
If you'd like some cheesecake baking tips I found this site, Diana's Desserts, which should really help you out, especially with those top cracking issues. So read before you bake.
I'm signing off as my kids are goofing off, dancing in the living room to a Justin Bieber song and making a video on my daughter's computer.
Memories...
Every night when they were little we would put music on and they would just dance and dance and dance.
It was awesome.
Needless to say, this is the first time they've done it in years, so this is a spontaneous treat.
I don't dare look because I know they'll yell, "MMMOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!", and stop.
Happy baking everyone!
Lynne
I'm 25 years old, and still seem to call my mom every day because I need something... don't worry... that won't change LOL!
ReplyDeleteThe cheesecake looks absolutely delicious... I love the cinnabon flavor!
I teared up. I am in a similar place in life. My son is entering his Jr. year of high school and lately just doesn't seem to need me at all and flatly said to my daughter, who is 13, that he doesn't think he will miss us when he goes off to college. I told him next time to lie. Good practice for when his future wife asks if she looks fat in her jeans. ;) Thanks for the post...I needed that.
ReplyDeleteLynne!! Thank you so much for your kind comments! I'm glad you liked that cheesecake! It IS the bomb, isn't it. Although I can't claim credit... I only adapted it slightly from Marcy Goldman's cookbook. (If you like this, you'd love the rest of the ridiculous desserts in there!)
ReplyDeleteI also have to thank you for your sweet words about your children. It made me tear up as well. My kids are still very young (2 and 4) and we've been having some rough days lately -- today in particular. I find myself wishing for the day when I can send my 4yo off to kindergarten so I can have some peace. You reminded me that I should really enjoy the time when they constantly depend on me. Even if they don't let up :)
Lynne!!! Thank you so much for the tears!!! I am so glad that we are on this journey together! This looks absolutely amazing! Some day I will have to try it! Cheesecake AND Cinnamon? 2 of my favorites! Kind of like my 2 Girls!
ReplyDeleteFinally I can leave comments for you wonderful ladies!
ReplyDeleteDana, I'm sure that your mom loves that she hears from you every day. I so hope that happens!
Geni, he will definitely appreciate you when he's away at college! They go through that stage in high school when they're trying to assert their independence, be cool and act like they don't really need you, but believe me, he does and he will. My heart broke when I read your comment! I just want to give you a big, BIG hug!
Natalie, it was SO delicious and as I said, I don't even LIKE cheesecake. You've converted me! ;-) Thank you for the compliment. It is so easy to wish those days away, and that song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins ALWAYS makes me tear up! Life just goes WAY to fast. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The days you have now can be very difficult, but try to find little moments of joy when you're having tough days and that will help pull you through. Hugs!
Tina, the next four years will fly, but they will be wonderful. I'm so glad we're together for it. Thank you!!!
Again, ladies, thank you so much!!!!!
I love cheesecake!! And this sounds awesome. The cracking in the cake could come from over baking, or over mixing, incorporating too much air in the batter. I have experimented a lot with cheesecakes and always have taken mine right out of the oven. The reason for leaving it in the oven is for it to cool slowly to prevent cracking. Your story was awesome, I know the feeling. When my wife had passed, I had to put my daughter in a daycare @ 3 1/2. She then went to pre k at 4. I followed the bus till off dropped her off at school. The rest is history and now she is a freshman in college...
ReplyDeleteGeorge, thank you for your comment. I'll definitely remember your tip on my next cheesecake, thank you. I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. That must have been an extremely difficult time for you and being the father of a toddler. They grow up so very quickly, that it's hard to believe time goes so fast. By far, being a mother is the greatest thing I have ever done and I wouldn't change it for the world. :-)
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